I was 15 years old when I asked my friend to hook me up, so she hooked me up with this boy named Brandon. The relationship started up with us being good friends. We hung out at his house all the time. Then one day he asked me: 'Did I want to stay over for his birthday?' He was 16 turning 17. On his birthday (December 17, 2005) we officially started going out.
Staying in his house that night we watched TV and ate In & Out Burger. We slept in the same bed, and, ugh, I’m not gonna say much more except I was happy.
Now Brandon was not what you would call super fine, but he was aiight. He is about 6 ft 1, chocolate complexion, with dreads and the biggest lips you ever seen and he knew how to use them! Out of the three years we were together, our relationship went from love to hate. Then things changed. He never put his hands on me, but his verbal abuse stung much worse. He would say stuff like “My shit is platinum. Everybody wants me,” “You are my bitch,” “You're my everything, but she could do it better.”
It was crazy being with him. Not even four months after we started talking, I found out about this girl he was talking to a year before we got together named Latoya. They were still talking to each other – they never broke up while he was talking to me. I had to admit I was hot about that situation, but what we had was good, so I let it ride.
He would always come up with reasons why that relationship was not all that – saying stuff like: “She gives me money, is you gonna do that?” I knew he had other girls on the side I didn’t know about. I learned about them from Latoya.
The Break-up
In June 2008, I really felt like he started to act funny towards me after I had a miscarriage. I was only two month pregnant and I honestly think it happened because of all the stress he put me through. The last straw was occurred while I was pregnant – I gave him my sidekick to hold cause he didn’t have no phone, so I could get a hold of him when I needed to. But all of a sudden, when I called him - he was busy all the time. It turns out he was running up my minutes with the next chick! It was this girl named Lala that he still talks to now.
When I finally contacted him, I told him I don’t want to talk to him no more I just want to be free and I want my phone back. That’s when he told me okay “If you want your phone back give me $200!” So, reluctantly, I told him when I got paid I’d give him the money, so I could get my phone back. I thought that was the only way cause this fool was crazy and I didn’t want to piss him off. So that Thursday I shot him the money. But Karma is a bitch cause not even a week later he got shot and I went to the hospital to go see him, and I felt bad for him, but I found out he was asleep, so I reached into his jean pockets when I went up to the room and got my money back, plus an extra hundred then I left. To this day he has no idea.
-Danni 18
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
A Message From the Heart
I am writing to reassure you that if you are in abusive relationship, or you know someone that is in one that: You should speak up.
I was in a abusive relation when I was 14 years old, and it never was physical until one day when we were arguing about a pair or shoes. And it escalated to him putting his hands on me for the first time. My whole life flashed before my eyes, it was not a good feeling. At that point, I realized what everyone was saying to me was true.
But the way they approached me wasn’t cool. I got approached from almost everybody in my family: my mom and my aunties my brothers. Everybody tried yelling and cussing screaming at me. My friend lectured me about it like every day and it got really annoying to the point that I just started to shut down because I felt like they were talking to me just to hear themselves talk. But what got me to start thinking was my oldest brother. He asked me: 'Was I happy with hurting the people around me because of what I was doing?' He told me I was playing with fire and the dude wasn’t good for me. The only reason why I choose to listen to him was because he was coming from a place of love and he was very genuine in what he was saying to me.
That’s why when my ex-boyfriend and I had that last and final argument, it was easy for me to let go. So if nobody that's telling you is coming from a place of love, I am -- because I know how you feel.
When that person and I broke up, my self-esteem was completely gone. I had to start from the ground up. We were together for about a year and six months.
It is so important for the young ladies that are in abusive relationship to hear this: it's not healthy at all and it can damage you in the long run. So if you know somebody or if you are that somebody, get out of that situation. Trust me, there is somebody out there waiting for you, you don’t have to be treated this way.
- Jazmin, 17
I was in a abusive relation when I was 14 years old, and it never was physical until one day when we were arguing about a pair or shoes. And it escalated to him putting his hands on me for the first time. My whole life flashed before my eyes, it was not a good feeling. At that point, I realized what everyone was saying to me was true.
But the way they approached me wasn’t cool. I got approached from almost everybody in my family: my mom and my aunties my brothers. Everybody tried yelling and cussing screaming at me. My friend lectured me about it like every day and it got really annoying to the point that I just started to shut down because I felt like they were talking to me just to hear themselves talk. But what got me to start thinking was my oldest brother. He asked me: 'Was I happy with hurting the people around me because of what I was doing?' He told me I was playing with fire and the dude wasn’t good for me. The only reason why I choose to listen to him was because he was coming from a place of love and he was very genuine in what he was saying to me.
That’s why when my ex-boyfriend and I had that last and final argument, it was easy for me to let go. So if nobody that's telling you is coming from a place of love, I am -- because I know how you feel.
When that person and I broke up, my self-esteem was completely gone. I had to start from the ground up. We were together for about a year and six months.
It is so important for the young ladies that are in abusive relationship to hear this: it's not healthy at all and it can damage you in the long run. So if you know somebody or if you are that somebody, get out of that situation. Trust me, there is somebody out there waiting for you, you don’t have to be treated this way.
- Jazmin, 17
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