I was 15 years old when I asked my friend to hook me up, so she hooked me up with this boy named Brandon. The relationship started up with us being good friends. We hung out at his house all the time. Then one day he asked me: 'Did I want to stay over for his birthday?' He was 16 turning 17. On his birthday (December 17, 2005) we officially started going out.
Staying in his house that night we watched TV and ate In & Out Burger. We slept in the same bed, and, ugh, I’m not gonna say much more except I was happy.
Now Brandon was not what you would call super fine, but he was aiight. He is about 6 ft 1, chocolate complexion, with dreads and the biggest lips you ever seen and he knew how to use them! Out of the three years we were together, our relationship went from love to hate. Then things changed. He never put his hands on me, but his verbal abuse stung much worse. He would say stuff like “My shit is platinum. Everybody wants me,” “You are my bitch,” “You're my everything, but she could do it better.”
It was crazy being with him. Not even four months after we started talking, I found out about this girl he was talking to a year before we got together named Latoya. They were still talking to each other – they never broke up while he was talking to me. I had to admit I was hot about that situation, but what we had was good, so I let it ride.
He would always come up with reasons why that relationship was not all that – saying stuff like: “She gives me money, is you gonna do that?” I knew he had other girls on the side I didn’t know about. I learned about them from Latoya.
The Break-up
In June 2008, I really felt like he started to act funny towards me after I had a miscarriage. I was only two month pregnant and I honestly think it happened because of all the stress he put me through. The last straw was occurred while I was pregnant – I gave him my sidekick to hold cause he didn’t have no phone, so I could get a hold of him when I needed to. But all of a sudden, when I called him - he was busy all the time. It turns out he was running up my minutes with the next chick! It was this girl named Lala that he still talks to now.
When I finally contacted him, I told him I don’t want to talk to him no more I just want to be free and I want my phone back. That’s when he told me okay “If you want your phone back give me $200!” So, reluctantly, I told him when I got paid I’d give him the money, so I could get my phone back. I thought that was the only way cause this fool was crazy and I didn’t want to piss him off. So that Thursday I shot him the money. But Karma is a bitch cause not even a week later he got shot and I went to the hospital to go see him, and I felt bad for him, but I found out he was asleep, so I reached into his jean pockets when I went up to the room and got my money back, plus an extra hundred then I left. To this day he has no idea.
-Danni 18
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
A Message From the Heart
I am writing to reassure you that if you are in abusive relationship, or you know someone that is in one that: You should speak up.
I was in a abusive relation when I was 14 years old, and it never was physical until one day when we were arguing about a pair or shoes. And it escalated to him putting his hands on me for the first time. My whole life flashed before my eyes, it was not a good feeling. At that point, I realized what everyone was saying to me was true.
But the way they approached me wasn’t cool. I got approached from almost everybody in my family: my mom and my aunties my brothers. Everybody tried yelling and cussing screaming at me. My friend lectured me about it like every day and it got really annoying to the point that I just started to shut down because I felt like they were talking to me just to hear themselves talk. But what got me to start thinking was my oldest brother. He asked me: 'Was I happy with hurting the people around me because of what I was doing?' He told me I was playing with fire and the dude wasn’t good for me. The only reason why I choose to listen to him was because he was coming from a place of love and he was very genuine in what he was saying to me.
That’s why when my ex-boyfriend and I had that last and final argument, it was easy for me to let go. So if nobody that's telling you is coming from a place of love, I am -- because I know how you feel.
When that person and I broke up, my self-esteem was completely gone. I had to start from the ground up. We were together for about a year and six months.
It is so important for the young ladies that are in abusive relationship to hear this: it's not healthy at all and it can damage you in the long run. So if you know somebody or if you are that somebody, get out of that situation. Trust me, there is somebody out there waiting for you, you don’t have to be treated this way.
- Jazmin, 17
I was in a abusive relation when I was 14 years old, and it never was physical until one day when we were arguing about a pair or shoes. And it escalated to him putting his hands on me for the first time. My whole life flashed before my eyes, it was not a good feeling. At that point, I realized what everyone was saying to me was true.
But the way they approached me wasn’t cool. I got approached from almost everybody in my family: my mom and my aunties my brothers. Everybody tried yelling and cussing screaming at me. My friend lectured me about it like every day and it got really annoying to the point that I just started to shut down because I felt like they were talking to me just to hear themselves talk. But what got me to start thinking was my oldest brother. He asked me: 'Was I happy with hurting the people around me because of what I was doing?' He told me I was playing with fire and the dude wasn’t good for me. The only reason why I choose to listen to him was because he was coming from a place of love and he was very genuine in what he was saying to me.
That’s why when my ex-boyfriend and I had that last and final argument, it was easy for me to let go. So if nobody that's telling you is coming from a place of love, I am -- because I know how you feel.
When that person and I broke up, my self-esteem was completely gone. I had to start from the ground up. We were together for about a year and six months.
It is so important for the young ladies that are in abusive relationship to hear this: it's not healthy at all and it can damage you in the long run. So if you know somebody or if you are that somebody, get out of that situation. Trust me, there is somebody out there waiting for you, you don’t have to be treated this way.
- Jazmin, 17
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The Crazy Life That I Have Lived….
My name is Veronica Hayes and I'm 19 years old. I'm from Fillmore, Page Street to be exact. I lived in a seven-bedroom Victorian house on Haight Street .My family and I call it the Granny Rine spot!!!
I'm going to introduce my life to you guys by sayin how you can support someone to make your life and their life better. My grandmother passed when I was 17 years old ... that's when all my sisters, my mother and I really had it tough. My granny supported us with everything: a house, food, love, and care -- that's all we really needed. I lived with her my whole life, born and raised. She was just like a mother, but I always had my real momz by my side, but not fina go too deep into detail, but when my grandmother passed - it made my fam stronger.
WHERE iS FaMilY WhEn You NeEd them???
Shit got harder as weeks passed by, but in order for me and my sis Erica too stay strong, we had to keep our heads up. My sis was 18, lookin out for herself and didn't need nobody's help really but God is always good. My sis didn't have no where to go, but my aunty had a sweetheart and accepted her in…and my sis also had a job. She was workin and stayin on her feet, that was SWEEt.
The wonderful thangs my mama did for her kids???
Man, my mama will give up da world for her kids. Momz went to rehab and changed her life, gettin her money, doin' her thang and I love her for that!!! When my mama saw that my granny passed and that's all we really had, she changed because she knew life could be better than it had been!! We lived with my granny forever. My lil sis Miracle brought support to my mother and I. She's 3 yrs of age, and if it wasn't for her right now, we wouldn't have our own spot to stay. My mom wouldn't have no job, but it was a miracle, so life got turned around.
I had got put on transitional housing, had my own space to think about how great of a fam me, my sisters and mom was going to have - and my mom was doin the same at her program.
Not much more to say, but I love my family - my mama the most because she makes shyt happenz and I have a k00l relationship with her. You only get one mother and I love mine !
- Veronica
I'm going to introduce my life to you guys by sayin how you can support someone to make your life and their life better. My grandmother passed when I was 17 years old ... that's when all my sisters, my mother and I really had it tough. My granny supported us with everything: a house, food, love, and care -- that's all we really needed. I lived with her my whole life, born and raised. She was just like a mother, but I always had my real momz by my side, but not fina go too deep into detail, but when my grandmother passed - it made my fam stronger.
WHERE iS FaMilY WhEn You NeEd them???
Shit got harder as weeks passed by, but in order for me and my sis Erica too stay strong, we had to keep our heads up. My sis was 18, lookin out for herself and didn't need nobody's help really but God is always good. My sis didn't have no where to go, but my aunty had a sweetheart and accepted her in…and my sis also had a job. She was workin and stayin on her feet, that was SWEEt.
The wonderful thangs my mama did for her kids???
Man, my mama will give up da world for her kids. Momz went to rehab and changed her life, gettin her money, doin' her thang and I love her for that!!! When my mama saw that my granny passed and that's all we really had, she changed because she knew life could be better than it had been!! We lived with my granny forever. My lil sis Miracle brought support to my mother and I. She's 3 yrs of age, and if it wasn't for her right now, we wouldn't have our own spot to stay. My mom wouldn't have no job, but it was a miracle, so life got turned around.
I had got put on transitional housing, had my own space to think about how great of a fam me, my sisters and mom was going to have - and my mom was doin the same at her program.
Not much more to say, but I love my family - my mama the most because she makes shyt happenz and I have a k00l relationship with her. You only get one mother and I love mine !
- Veronica
In My Footsteps
Being sent to Mexico after going to jail and being through so much would make someone think that that's why i would change my life. But honestly, november 24th 2007, is the day my whole life hit a 180. Not only did I have to think of myself, but I had to think of this little person beinb brought into my house. Seeing my little sister made me think to myself, "What if she had to see the things I've seen? Or go through the things I've had to go through?" It made me think, "hell nah, she's not going to have to go through that shit!" I made sure that I got my life together in order to set a good example for her and help her avoid making the same mistakes I've made.
-Me
-Me
My School Life
I have done a lot of things n my life. I’ve changed a whole lot especially all the different schools I went to. I started at Edison from kindergarten until the 5th grade. I graduated from there and went to Gloria R. Davis from 6th until 8th grade. There is when my life changed. More things was happing as far as new friends, boys, stress as well as all the problems I have till this day with my mom. I had fun at that school because it was in my neighborhood and it was mostly black kids. They turned that middle school in to a Dream School and I started 9th grade there as well. Even with a lot of different stuff going on in my life all the new changes, I still remained to get good grades and stay on the Honor Roll. The dream school was supposed to go up to 12th grade, each year it would go up a grade but it got shut down and all the kids had to go to a regular high school.
So from there I went to Galileo with one of my best friends, who I’ve been going to school with since the 2nd grade. The school was so big and filled with mostly Asian kids. I didn’t know how to get to most of my classes by myself for about two weeks. The only good thing was that every one got off campus lunch; not just the seniors. After staying there for one semester I had a lot of friends, but I wasn’t really feeling the school. It was too big and most of the time I just used to cut classes because they were so boring, so that meant my grades began to drop. My mom, as well as my friend’s mom, got us both out of Galileo and we went to ISA. I heard ISA was poppin’ so I wanted to go there and check it out for myself and my other best friend went there already. When I got there it was cool. I knew a lot of people already because the school was kind of by my neighborhood. The classes was cool not too big not too small. But still they were boring and my grades were affected by it. My best friend who I had been switching schools with wasn’t doing so good either so her mom got a house in Sacramento and she went to school out there and I went to John O’Connell. This school was different to because it was small and mostly Mexicans.
My grades got back on track - not how I want them to be - but it’s way better then what they were. I guess because I had to make a decision like everything is not going to be fun and poppin’. School is not going to be how I want it and I need to stay committed to something. So I’m still here at John O’Connell and this is my senior year.
- Kenisha
So from there I went to Galileo with one of my best friends, who I’ve been going to school with since the 2nd grade. The school was so big and filled with mostly Asian kids. I didn’t know how to get to most of my classes by myself for about two weeks. The only good thing was that every one got off campus lunch; not just the seniors. After staying there for one semester I had a lot of friends, but I wasn’t really feeling the school. It was too big and most of the time I just used to cut classes because they were so boring, so that meant my grades began to drop. My mom, as well as my friend’s mom, got us both out of Galileo and we went to ISA. I heard ISA was poppin’ so I wanted to go there and check it out for myself and my other best friend went there already. When I got there it was cool. I knew a lot of people already because the school was kind of by my neighborhood. The classes was cool not too big not too small. But still they were boring and my grades were affected by it. My best friend who I had been switching schools with wasn’t doing so good either so her mom got a house in Sacramento and she went to school out there and I went to John O’Connell. This school was different to because it was small and mostly Mexicans.
My grades got back on track - not how I want them to be - but it’s way better then what they were. I guess because I had to make a decision like everything is not going to be fun and poppin’. School is not going to be how I want it and I need to stay committed to something. So I’m still here at John O’Connell and this is my senior year.
- Kenisha
My Sister
My name is Monique and one of the things I struggle with the most is my older sister Raquel. My sister Raquel start doing drugs late 90s and my nieces Kalea, Tatiana, Raquel and my nephew Aaron got taken away from her because of it about four years. I was 12 at the time.
I think that is one of my struggles because I used to be really close to my sister and all her kids. When my mother wasn’t doing so good, I would stay with my sister and her baby daddy Travis. My nieces and nephews were like my sisters and brothers – that’s why it hurts so bad that they got took away from her. Not only did they get took from her – they got took away from my family. The only family they get to see is their Dad’s family and I don’t think that’s fair because the only one who did wrong was my sister!
I don’t only blame her for getting her children took away from her – I blame her baby daddy Travis, too. I also blame her mother (we have different moms) because she was on drugs their whole life and is still on drugs. Travis is the one that got them taken away, but, at the same time, he got her hooked on those drugs. They used to live together and they started doing drugs.
My sister got hooked on them but he didn’t, so I feel that he’s to blame, too.
My sister – who is 28 now – is always in and out of jail, stealing from everywhere and the family, and always running away from the drug programs she promises she’ll stay in.
I don’t really take my sister too seriously now, but I will when or if she gets clean. It’s not fair that that’s my family and I am not even allowed to see them.
I hope we can all be a big family again and I will be able to see my nieces and nephews again because I grew up with them.
- Monique
I think that is one of my struggles because I used to be really close to my sister and all her kids. When my mother wasn’t doing so good, I would stay with my sister and her baby daddy Travis. My nieces and nephews were like my sisters and brothers – that’s why it hurts so bad that they got took away from her. Not only did they get took from her – they got took away from my family. The only family they get to see is their Dad’s family and I don’t think that’s fair because the only one who did wrong was my sister!
I don’t only blame her for getting her children took away from her – I blame her baby daddy Travis, too. I also blame her mother (we have different moms) because she was on drugs their whole life and is still on drugs. Travis is the one that got them taken away, but, at the same time, he got her hooked on those drugs. They used to live together and they started doing drugs.
My sister got hooked on them but he didn’t, so I feel that he’s to blame, too.
My sister – who is 28 now – is always in and out of jail, stealing from everywhere and the family, and always running away from the drug programs she promises she’ll stay in.
I don’t really take my sister too seriously now, but I will when or if she gets clean. It’s not fair that that’s my family and I am not even allowed to see them.
I hope we can all be a big family again and I will be able to see my nieces and nephews again because I grew up with them.
- Monique
Sisters Rising and Blogging
Welcome to the Sisters Rising blog -- the official blog of the amazing Sisters Rising program run out of The Center for Young Women's Development (CYWD) in San Francisco. This blog comes out of a collaboration with the CYWD and YO! Youth Outlook Multimedia from bi-weekly writing workshops held with Sisters Rising participants. The bloggers will discuss their lives, issues young women in the Bay Area are dealing with, media representations of young women and more. There are very few places on the internet where young women like these have space and a voice to be heard: so stay tuned ....
- Neelanjana Banerjee, Sisters Rising/YO! Youth Outlook workshop facilitator
- Neelanjana Banerjee, Sisters Rising/YO! Youth Outlook workshop facilitator
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)